Do Autistic People Experience Empathy?

• Autistic people have a range of experiences with empathy

• Many autistic people have very high levels of empathy

• Many autistic people have the same type of empathic responses as most people

• Our understanding of empathy and autism is based on outdated, discredited research

One question I get asked a lot is, can I be autistic because I'm very empathic? Many of my clients are therapists, they have families, they experience deep (often very deep) levels of empathy, which means that they (and often other people) rule out the possibility of autism.

For many of my clients, the idea that they can’t be empathic is troubling. And some people have been previously misdiagnosed on the basis of "being empathic", or working in a caring capacity.

It was in the 1980s and 1990s that the idea of an inherent lack of empathy on the part of autistic people gained popularity. And it's true that some autistic people do struggle with understanding what's going on for other people - which can make it difficult to feel empathy towards them.

How do autistic people experience empathy?

Usual experience of empathy

Many autistic people have an experience of empathy that differs very little from most people. They understand what it must be like to "be in someone's shoes" and they experience a sense of connection and empathy with that person. There's nothing that makes their experience stand out.

Deep empathy

But this certainly isn't the experience of all autistic people. In fact, many autistic people experience very deep levels of empathy - sometimes to the extent that it feels overwhelming. This is very common and can feel difficult to deal with at times.

Empathy that is expressed differently

Some autistic people experience empathy towards others, but find it hard to express feelings of concern or shared experience. This has less to do with empathic differences, and more to do with the fact that social communication is challenging. Not knowing what to say, or how to physically comfort someone doesn't show a lack of caring - it shows that it's difficult to express that.

Moving to a solution-focused point

Some autistic people tend to be detail focused, and picking up on the details of someone's experience - which is often accompanied by coming up with solutions - can be their go-to response.

Delayed reactions

Part of the autistic experience is often becoming overwhelmed. Hearing too much information, being confronted with difficult information, finding oneself deeply affected by someone else's experience can all be too much to handle in the moment. Needing longer to process things is also a common part of the autistic experience, all of which can lead to feeling empathy - but sometimes later than the original event.

Felt empathy and cognitive empathy

When we’re thinking about autistic people's experience of empathy, we need to understand what we mean by empathy and to appreciate that there are different types of empathy. 

Empathy comes from the German word Einfühlung, which means “feeling in.” It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what empathy is, partly because there are many different ways to experience empathy, but it includes the ability to sense other people’s emotions and to be able to imagine what they are thinking or feeling. With this understanding, you can respond to that person’s state of mind with an appropriate emotion. 

Empathy can be further broken down into two distinct parts—cognitive and affective. 

Cognitive empathy is the ability to identify with and understand other people’s emotions—what we commonly refer to as being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. An example of cognitive empathy would be watching a newsreel of someone who has been flooded out of their home. Without having experienced that yourself, you would be able to understand just how fearful, sad, and terrible they must be feeling due to the types of emotions that this awful event has had on them. 

Affective empathy—also known as emotional or primitive empathy—happens when you have an emotional response to what someone else is thinking or feeling. Going back to the newsreel footage of the flood victim, you may find yourself welling up with tears or feeling angry towards the government that this has happened to this person. 

Research has shown that it’s the cognitive empathy part that people with ASD struggle with—they have trouble working out exactly what is going on for someone else1. They find situations confusing and may not quickly work out why someone is so upset over a situation. But it doesn’t mean they don’t care, and they may experience an emotional reaction to someone else’s distress, even though they’re not really identifying with the complexities behind that person’s distress. 

Do autistic people experience empathy FAQs.

Do autistic people feel what others feel?

Yes. Some people might struggle to express this, and some people might struggle to feel what others feel. But many autistic people experience deep empathy towards others.

Why are autistic people regarded as lacking in empathy?

This idea is based on outdated research and the experience of some autistic people has been extended towards autistic people generally. The fact that some autistic people need longer to process situations, or might struggle to express empathy can also lead to assumptions that they lack empathy.

Do autism assessments take into account that autistic people have empathy?

Some assessors have an outdated view of empathy and may rule out autism on the basis of someone being empathic or working in a caring environment. A neurodivergent respectful assessment by someone educated fully in autism will be aware of the different ways in which empathy is experienced by autistic people.